


Kickass flicks and marshmellow chicks

by 8338011



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Mentioned Karkat Vantas, cute dipshits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 23:40:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16050971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8338011/pseuds/8338011
Summary: TG: you miss these witty quips just as much as you miss this strider ass.TA: I do not.TA: you and your convoluted, iironiic, metaphoriical raps can fuck off.TG: now isnt that a lie.jpgTA: 2TRIIDER.





	1. witty quips

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy this shitty rendition of an idea in my mind of these two dorktastic dweebs, internet.  
> You're welcome.

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TA: hey diip2hiit.

TG: sup

TA: wow, 2triider.

TA: 2o oriigiinal.

TG: 2up baby~

TA: oh my god.

TA: forget ii 2aiid anythiing, don't do that agaiin, EVER.

TG: well damn, that was my last resort. I am now permanently out of witty quips

TA: what a trave2ty.

TG: you miss it already, I can tell

TG: you miss these witty quips just as much as you miss this strider ass

TA: I do not.

TA: you and your convoluted, iironiic, metaphoriical raps can fuck off.

TG: [now isn't that a lie.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/jXQ7MRe.jpg)

TA: 2TRIIDER.

TG: it's true

TA: iit ii2, but that2 not the poiint.

TA: we 2tiill on for toniight?

TG: of course

TG: kickass flicks and marshmellow chicks, courtesy of yours truely

TA: then get the fuck over here already, iim bored waiitiing for your 2low a22.

TG: damn captor, really coming off strong with them ass vibes

TG: I knew you missed me

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TA: ju2t get over here, iidiiot.

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--


	2. Doofy Douchebaggery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't comment on the methh, I know, I jutht don't feel like cleaning anything up for you."  
> "Aw how sweet, you thought of me. Also I brought over the Bee Movie again, hope you still like shitty puns and inter-species romance."  
> "of courthe I thtill like them, I'm dating you, aren't I?"

You sit staring at your computer with a doofy grin on your face like an idiot. Damn, how did Captor call it that easily? He knows you so well. But anyway, enough of this senseless douchebaggery, on with the show! What movie should you bring? Fuck, you don't know. He knows you but you don't even know his favorite movie, let alone anything he likes.

Last time you checked, he liked the Bee Movie when you brought it over that one time... so fuck it, why not. The Bee Movie and some marshmellow peeps, surely the greatest party mankind has ever conceived. Okay, not the greatest, lets tone it down a little there, you douchey narcissistic Neil Patrick Harris rip off. _Man_ , you really need to learn to stop talking to yourself. It's really starting to eat at your oh so perfect blankface template of a ego.

You sigh to yourself in front of your bathroom's mirror, giving your reflection a metaphorical kiss goodbye before you walk out the door with a bag full of fun times o' plenty. Sollux's room isn't that far from yours, especially with you levitating down the halls like the worlds most _obnoxious_ superhero. _"Use your powers sparingly, for the good of the people."_ But using them for trivial things is _so_ fun and makes things **_so_** much easier.

By the time your mind figured out which dc hero you'd rather impersonate (the answer: shazam), you've arrived in front of Sollux's room and alert him to your presence by knocking the equivalent of the beat _to in da club by 50 cent_ through your fists. A full half dollar coin worth of beats, the only thing to get a rise out of the best half boy half man in the universe. This time, that guy isn't you.

"Hey _dumbathh_ , alternia to human dipthit, captain thpeaking, pay attention."

Words spew out the mouth of a deity with monstrous fangs only a mother could love.

"Uh, yeah, just. Say everything you said within the past couple of minutes again, I wasn't paying attention."

Sollux audibly scoffs and rolls his eyes at you, firmly leaning on the doorframe.

" _Obviouthly_. I _thwear_ , if you didn't have me or kk to tell you when you've got your head **tho far** up your **athh** you're theeing your **protein shute** , you wouldn't even know it wath up there in the **firtht place**."

"Not true, i'd know it was up there- because I put it there to block out all the haters."

You smirk as Sollux groans.

" _Y'know what_? Jutht. Jutht come inthide already tho we can thtart thith. What movie did you bring over thith time?"

He facepalms while he leaves the doorway, gesturing inside his room for the upmost time.

"Don't comment on the methh, I know, I jutht don't feel like cleaning anything up for you."

"Aw how sweet, you thought of me. Also I brought over the Bee Movie again, hope you still like shitty puns and inter-species romance."

"Of courthe I thtill like them, I'm dating you, aren't I?"

"Ooo what a burn. You're getting better at roasting everyday, Captor, I can feel it."

You mimic a hurt expression and put your hand on your chest, faking a wheeze.

"Oh thut up, thtrider."

Sollux smiles at you and grabs his weird alien laptop from his desk, bringing it to his bed.

"Not today, beeboy. Today's all about sweet flicks and juicy chicks. Speaking of juicy chicks..."

You reach into your bag and pull out the yellow marshmellow peeps you put in there earlier, tossing them at the troll.

"Dave, what the fuck are _thothe_?"

He picks up the small container of sugary confection, easily puncturing the packaging with his claws.

"Woah dude, chill out. You're supposed to _open it_ , **not slaughter it**. Here."

You take the package of heavenly chicken children and properly unveil them from their plastic bridal prison.

" _See_? It's not that hard."

You smirk as you grab one of the peeps and hand the rest to him, then jump onto the bed to join him.

"Whatever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> upcoming chapter'll be released whenever I feel like it, just being honest.  
> Also it's highly likely this could go either smutty and slutty or just snooty mc frooty, it really just depends how far im gonna go with it.

**Author's Note:**

> Update coming probably tomorrow ig. Time is relative, tomorrow is yesterday, yada yada yada it'll bee there whenever i get to it.


End file.
